what am I doing here?

i often have no idea. and it isn't just the big things either. i will
often go to a different room for *something* and have forgotten what i
went there for. when i realize this, i try to remember. if it works,
everything's good for a few minutes and i do whatever i came for. if
not, more than likely my mind will have wandered to the bigger picture
of why i even exist. is there some grand purpose to human existence? if
so, what is it? the theorizations i've drifted through, both my own and
those of philosophers throughout the ages, never seem to fulfill such a
simple question. simple but very loaded. and always there is the
possibility that there is no purpose. if there is no purpose, why bother
with anything? or is the whole point to make our own purpose? if there
just is no purpose, is this all a waste of time? why do patterns repeat
in seemingly unrelated entities? one example: the atom and the solar
system. have you ever examined the structure of the two? they are nearly
identical. the central start (the sun in our case) is the nucleus, the
planets are the orbiting electrons. the differences are that the planets
are of different sizes (we don't really know the size of electrons,
we're just guessing they are uniformly sized) and that the planets can
have things orbiting them (again, we are guessing that electrons don't,
but since we can't actually perceive electrons, how could we hope to
perceive something small enough to be orbiting an electron?). the only
other difference is that it is electrical positive/negative attractions
that hold the electrons in orbit and gravity that hold the planets in
orbit. it seems that a galaxy follows the same pattern, using entire
solar systems the way that atoms use electrons. i don't know/remember
what the core of a galaxy is, may just be the biggest solar system. but
with such patterns repeating on an ever larger scale, can there not be
some kind of design involved? if there is some kind of higher design
involved, doesn't that at least imply that there is some kind of
purpose? what is that purpose?

i think i've rambled on enough for now, time to get back to . . . opps,
forgot what i came here for again.