why?

i've often thought about why i'm here. when asked, i often answer in
jest that i am here to serve as a warning to others. that's the only
reason i've survived as long as i have. ;) but when i really think
about it, it seems that i am here to help. doesn't seem to matter who
or how, but i am happiest helping others. i actually get depressed
when i pass someone on the side of the road if i don't have time to
stop and help. and yet, sometimes there just isn't a choice involved.
if i'm on my way to work and stop every time i see someone who needs
help, i'll get fired for being late too often. at that point, i no
longer have the financial backing to continue helping as i would like,
since i'll be desperately searching for another job. (in this economy,
any job search is desperate). it takes a lot of time (such a precious
commodity) and yet, i am happiest spending my time helping people.

is helping my purpose? can it really be that simple? i would like to
think so, but it seems too simple an answer to a question that has
confounded philosophers since the beginning of human existence.

if that is my purpose, why do i find it so hard to balance this
against the real world requirements such as having a job and sleep?
more food for thought i guess.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows