The Dancer in the Shadows

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Resurrections and Rebirths

For years, I told myself I don't have time for a blog, I had too much else going on that required my immediate attention...

And the more I told myself this, the more it began to feel hollow and empty; like I was somehow not understanding some aspect of the idea that was critically important to me. Perhaps I was even hiding it from myself.

A few months ago, I took several days away from absolutely everything for a period of deep introspection. I'm not done yet with the aftermath of that introspection, but one of the conclusions I did come to was that I need the outlet that the blog provided me with. This is a place where I can say things completely openly; where I can simply let things out and let them go. A place where I can share things and get feedback without the need for scheduling appointments.

I don't yet have a clue what will find its way to my blog, and I don't really care. I'm not going to filter things, I'm not going to hold back. Whatever it feels like needs to be released here will be released here.

Some of it will be nearly pointless to most; just something I feel like putting up.

For example, today my breakfast is an experiment. Peppermint-strawberry oatmeal. It isn't finished "cooking" yet, but it smells good. I've no idea how it will taste.

I'll also say here that I often seem to have slightly different meanings for some words and phrases than most people seem to have. The "I don't really care" statement above is likely one of them. In this instance, I will say that I do care about my blog. With the self-revelation that I need the outlet, its importance to me has also been clarified. The very specific part I do not care about is filtering what I post. I'm not politically correct, and hope I never become so diluted.

Some of this will be rants I'm sure. I'm now divorced and still living at the same address as my Ex due to financial constraints; I'm sure anyone who's fought with an Ex can understand the need to vent sometimes. The divorce is now over a year old, and most of the time now it is just a little awkward. Still, I do look forward to (eventually) having my own place. So much is still up in the air though regarding the financial aspects. Feeding the kids and gas to get to/from work very strongly trumps any thoughts of my own place while I still have viable shelter where I'm at.

I will also be playing with email-to-post options and considering moving my blog to a different platform that gives me more direct control and more ready archive abilities. I do not like that I currently don't have an easy or reliable option to export my current blog and import it into something else. If I had that already, I might simply leave it here because I knew the option was available. As far as I can tell, I currently don't, and I am really fond of backups and data integrity that I can actually use myself.

And so, after much pain, loss, rearranging, and reflection, I am reborn, and a part of that rebirth is the resurrection of my blog.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

1 Comments:

  • At Thursday, May 09, 2013 10:53:00 AM , Blogger The Dancer in the Shadows said...

    Update: I poked around in the settings, and found that an export option has been added. I am testing currently for completeness, and it looks like automation is not an option, but at least I can make backups (that I control) of my blog now.

    --- The Dancer in the Shadows

     

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