The Dancer in the Shadows

Thursday, September 30, 2004

i will post

something . . .

if i survive my own life that is. i really must have been out of my mind to
start this.

anyway, i will manage something soon. i've a post partially written on paper
(no computer available when i have time to post, thinking about a PDA with a
keyboard to compensate)

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Wednesday, September 22, 2004


it's all around us. it makes it worse when you can't even translate
something in your head to words to explain it to someone else. that is
where I'm at at the moment.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I must be out of my mind

i really must be, to have thought i would have time to keep a blog ... i
don't have time to sleep! anyway, i started it, i'm going to try to
maintain it. North, i know how you felt during you performance hiatus.

Monday, September 20, 2004

what am I doing here?

i often have no idea. and it isn't just the big things either. i will
often go to a different room for *something* and have forgotten what i
went there for. when i realize this, i try to remember. if it works,
everything's good for a few minutes and i do whatever i came for. if
not, more than likely my mind will have wandered to the bigger picture
of why i even exist. is there some grand purpose to human existence? if
so, what is it? the theorizations i've drifted through, both my own and
those of philosophers throughout the ages, never seem to fulfill such a
simple question. simple but very loaded. and always there is the
possibility that there is no purpose. if there is no purpose, why bother
with anything? or is the whole point to make our own purpose? if there
just is no purpose, is this all a waste of time? why do patterns repeat
in seemingly unrelated entities? one example: the atom and the solar
system. have you ever examined the structure of the two? they are nearly
identical. the central start (the sun in our case) is the nucleus, the
planets are the orbiting electrons. the differences are that the planets
are of different sizes (we don't really know the size of electrons,
we're just guessing they are uniformly sized) and that the planets can
have things orbiting them (again, we are guessing that electrons don't,
but since we can't actually perceive electrons, how could we hope to
perceive something small enough to be orbiting an electron?). the only
other difference is that it is electrical positive/negative attractions
that hold the electrons in orbit and gravity that hold the planets in
orbit. it seems that a galaxy follows the same pattern, using entire
solar systems the way that atoms use electrons. i don't know/remember
what the core of a galaxy is, may just be the biggest solar system. but
with such patterns repeating on an ever larger scale, can there not be
some kind of design involved? if there is some kind of higher design
involved, doesn't that at least imply that there is some kind of
purpose? what is that purpose?

i think i've rambled on enough for now, time to get back to . . . opps,
forgot what i came here for again.

Friday, September 17, 2004

done testing

it is now working the way I want it to (yay!).

i can email a new post in without having to have web access, means I can
post from a text only interface.


more later . . .

final? test

I think I'm done tweaking settings

more tests

still more adjustments, think I've got them the way I want them now.

another test

adjusting and testing settings

this is a test

just testing if I can post via email

need to see if it works as expected.


was over at a friends house last night. trying to fix things. nothing got fixed.


frustrated, ready to chuck it all out the window. not going to though. spent large parts of last night trying to figure out what was actually wrong. this morning the only conclusion i have is that i should have slept more instead. maybe i'll remember that i usually don't come up with much that late at night in the future and just go to sleep . . . but i doubt it. i tend to have a stubborn streak that doesn't like to let me adjust myself like that.

perhaps more later . . .

---The Dancer in the Shadows

Wednesday, September 15, 2004


well, this is my first shot at blogging. we'll see if i manage to continue. time is a precious commodity.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows