The Dancer in the Shadows

Saturday, October 30, 2004

more irritation

and now my emailed post shows up ... what gives? perhaps i'll contact tech support and see what they say. more later ...

--- The Dancer in the Shadows


my apologies to all, i emailed a post without checking if it was successful. it seems the email didn't get posted. i should have checked like i usually do. this time i didn't, and my post didn't go in. i'm very sorry i didn't check and mildly irritated that the system didn't work as it was supposed to.

anyway, this past week has accomplished some stuff, and left me exhausted. i've only managed to get to bed before 2 in the morning once this week. but more drywall is up in the bathroom, the sink plumbing is redone, and it is looking more like a bathroom and less like a construction project. :) the yard has much less junk in it, though we are still finding junk left over from my father-in-law's time at this residence. he moved out of here in 1994, and we've been steadily throwing leftover junk out since. that's a lot of junk. i think we are getting close to the end of it though.

i must return to cleaning or fixing something though ...

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Monday, October 25, 2004


again, my own lunacy is brought front and center for me to examine ...
and i think i'm comfortable with being insane. living in this world,
sanity is so oft challenged that the border between sane and insane
depends on who draws the line today. and does it really matter? for each
of us who draws breath, i'm fairly certain we can think of at least one
person we know that thinks us insane and at least one who thinks us
sane. i happen to think myself insane. and i think i deal with it very
well. i still have bizzare impulses, but i don't act on them nearly as
often as i once did. developing the capacity to think before acting on
an impulse was a challenge to be sure. but a worth while challenge.

and now my mind has drifted away and I forgot what else I was going to

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

This was just too good to pass up ...

Hooded winter jacket with large inside pocket
to conceal identity & carry gun: $65.00

9mm Handgun purchased from Ray-Jay up
the block: $150.00

Failure to practice proper weapon grip prior
to your planned armed robbery:


--- The Dancer in the Shadows

of climbing mountains and the passage of storms

i've been to the mountain top many times. i've felt the mountain crumble
beneath my feet becoming lower than the valley i'd just left. i've
fought and struggled, blazing my own path from the valley to the next
mountain top when i couldn't find a path there. it is my hope that
others were then able to use the path i'd left. through all this, i've
battled many demons, mostly my own. often, the only fragment of hope i
have had is that these troubles are only transient. the storm will
always pass. often the next storm is already much closer than the
horizon will ever be, but it too shall pass, and the journey continue.
it is my prayer that the storm never learns of its ignorance nor changes
its ways. we who survive the storm and learn from it, are stronger for
having passed through it.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Random Comments

i know some of you have no other way to contact me than this blog, so
i plan to have a random comments post often enough to keep one on the
current page. feel free to say absolutely anything you want here ...

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Poking Around

i saw something on another blog site, and decided i liked the idea, so
now i have a listing of other blogs i follow on the sidebar. i will
try to contact you before adding you to this list so i can ask
permission. if i can't get a hold of you, it will be a judgement call
on my part, if you don't want to be listed, just let me know.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows

Wednesday, October 06, 2004


PS: if you leave comments, please sign them somehow? make up your own alias, use one i've created, don't really care, but i would like to be able to address you somehow in responses. if you make up your own and i recognize you from IRL, i'll even start using your alias in my blogs, but i will ask first! ;)
another option, if interested, is to use the alias North has made for you, though some may have to tell me which one is appropriate, as i haven't figured them all out yet.
pretty please?
--- The Dancer in the Shadows


i've often thought about why i'm here. when asked, i often answer in
jest that i am here to serve as a warning to others. that's the only
reason i've survived as long as i have. ;) but when i really think
about it, it seems that i am here to help. doesn't seem to matter who
or how, but i am happiest helping others. i actually get depressed
when i pass someone on the side of the road if i don't have time to
stop and help. and yet, sometimes there just isn't a choice involved.
if i'm on my way to work and stop every time i see someone who needs
help, i'll get fired for being late too often. at that point, i no
longer have the financial backing to continue helping as i would like,
since i'll be desperately searching for another job. (in this economy,
any job search is desperate). it takes a lot of time (such a precious
commodity) and yet, i am happiest spending my time helping people.

is helping my purpose? can it really be that simple? i would like to
think so, but it seems too simple an answer to a question that has
confounded philosophers since the beginning of human existence.

if that is my purpose, why do i find it so hard to balance this
against the real world requirements such as having a job and sleep?
more food for thought i guess.

--- The Dancer in the Shadows